BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hello out there in cyberspace! I am new at this site, diagnosed with BPD after suspecting it for quite some time. Great to have a name for being different from everyone else after more than 50 years of feeling like a ghost standing in the dark and looking through a window at normal people in a lighted house. I am German, married to an American for almost 25 years and have a 19 year old daughter. I also enjoy the wonderful emotions of extreme generalized anxiety and my life has become hell on earth during the last 5 years. My husband is a gambling addict with Bipolar I disorder and it could not become any worse. So here I am, looking for a way to communicate with people who know what I am talking about without telling me to lighten up, to be positive, to not be so angry and most of all that I am poisoning their life when I am barely making it through the day myself. Sounds familiar?
Thank you all for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dramaqueen in WA state

welcome! my daughter is bipolar 1. i look fwd to sharing with you here.

i am going back on buspar for my anxiety. it will add 20 lbs on me, but oh well. better fat than thin and anxious. lol.

btw, you cant poison anothers anything unless they are allowing it.

Yeah, I learned a lot about Bipolar I and know that my daughter is at risk also, it runs in my hsband's family. I have taken meds for anxiety but know too much about the side effects, besides, a lot of it is caused by the catastrophic effects of my husband's gambling.
I agree, poison must be swallowed but it is difficult if you depend on the person (like financially).
Looking forward to talking with you!!!

"""" agree, poison must be swallowed but it is difficult if you depend on the person (like financially)."""" how well do i know this one??? oh yes.

its difficult, but i take it day by day. and somedays i want to scream.

i really look forward to sharing with you and ways to cope with these people.

Here is what I do: I take a time-out because I have finally learned that I make a fool out of myself when I fly into a rage since people have no clue about my issues. I excuse myself and go some place where nobody can approach me. Bathroom break, closed office door or walking outside for a few minutes. If some idiot tells me to count my blessings and to be more positive I usually suggest for her/him to walk in my shoes for at least 6 months and low and behold, nobody has volunteered so far. Another good one is to make the other(s) aware, that they can be mad at me and avoid me but that I have to live with myself 24/7.
Hope it helps.

excellent ideas. i also try the time out thing.

and i hate someone telling me "be positive". well duh but maybe at the moment i was saying this shit is horrible. i dont want them minimizing it for me. just agree and say yes, i bet it is horrible.

my daughter is manic today, more from her dr appt tomorrow stuff, i think, than anythng else. she already wants off her meds...arghhhhh. i swear, these people take patience.

i wanted to share this. when my daughter was born, i knew she had "something". back then, bipolar in children was unheard of as a concept, so we got all the separation anxiety, defiance disorder, blah blah shit. it was so easy to see tho. i read a article life magazine had, (my friend borrowed it and lost it, damn it) but it described it all perfectly.

i even had one dr tell me she couldnt be anorexic because she wasnt 13 yet. wtf? i guess 12 cant be anorexic. shakes head* right. she is up to 115 lbs again...woohooo.

the death hour is indeterminate unless one chooses the hour of death

the hair is dead from the moment it leaves the scalp

is the hair no longer valid when it is cut from the scalp

the death hour is the genesis of the hair's existence

Presstoe, this is the second time I've seen you post this in an unrelated thread. You need to stop. There is obviously something very wrong, but we can't allow it to disrupt the board. I'll see you in CC.