The Four Agreements

Based on the teachings of don Miguel Ruiz,(and/or) based on the book The Four Agreements © 1997, don Miguel Ruiz, Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc. P.O. Box 6657, San Rafael, CA 94903.

In the world of Borderline, it is very easy to take everything personally and make assumptions. Some days, we might feel like giving up and/or lashing out. By introducing The Four Agreements into your life and striving to incorporate them into your routine, you can make remarkable strides in the interpersonal relationships in your life.


Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.


Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.


Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.


Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

How do they apply?

The tenets set forth in Don Miquel Ruiz's book (available at the BPDR book store) are not secrets that everyone without BPD already knows about. They are truths and wisdoms to help all people discover the joy and serenity that is already surrounding us. If we are patient and still and can learn to apply the Four Agreements to our daily lives on a regular basis, we will indeed live healthier, happier lives.

Simply reading about these Agreements on this page may not be enough. The old saying of "practice makes perfect" is really true when it comes to living the Agreements.

To learn more about how the Four Agreements can be applied to your journey toward recovery, pick up a copy of "Putting The Pieces Together".