Welcome to BPDR!

BPDRecovery is a site that focuses on recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder using tools that are predominantly Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) oriented. We are a non-discriminatory website which means that all individuals are welcome - whether you've been formally diagnosed or simply recognize yourself or someone you know in the diagnostic criteria, you are welcome here!

For the sake of clarity, we define "recovery" as "healthy, happy living." The tips, techniques and tools offered in this site are intended for everyone - BPD or NON - and may be able to help you achieve healthy, happy living.

This site was founded in 2001 by a recovered Borderline - Ash - as a result of the ever-increasing need to get the word out that recovery from BPD is possible. It's not easy and it doesn't happen overnight but it is possible!

The site has a capable group of volunteers who are committed to furthering the tenets of BPDRecovery.com. You will see some of these people with Community Leader or Senior Community Leader titles on the forums. These folks are not hall monitors or rule-enforcers. They are part of the peer support group just like everyone else and they are dedicated to maintaining a community where people are able to work on overcoming their borderline behaviour rather than practicing it.

Because of the unique nature of, individual approach to, and timetable for, the path of recovery for each individual will be vastly different though strikingly similar. We fully recognize that not everyone will be at the same place at the same time. BPDR is intended for the following people:

  • newbies who need a settling-in period to get acclimated to the Tools
  • those who've embraced the Tools but would like / benefit from peer support in working with them
  • those who've achieved some level of mastery of the Tools into their daily lives and are willing to offer peer support to others in earlier stages of the recovery journey.

BPDR is not for everyone at every time in every situation. No website or online community can reasonably expect to or promise to deliver such a thing.

This is a safe arena for those with mental illnesses and disorders (specifically BPD) to share concerns, voice opinions, seek like-minded individuals working toward recovery, discuss medications and therapy approaches, and explore the impact of their illness(es) have had on their life and the lives of their loved ones. As mentioned, you need not have a formal diagnosis to participate or benefit from the resources offered here. All are welcome.

If you do not believe you have BPD but are concerned about someone you know who does or may have BPD, you are welcome at BPDR so long as the focus is on yourself. The community will not provide answers about where, how, why someone with BPD does something or acts in a particular way. We will, however, offer tips and suggestions (usually based on the BPDR Tools) for ways to handle those BPD-types of situations and how to effectively communicate and enforce boundaries.

Regardless of the type of therapy you've chosen or may be considering choosing - psychoanalysis, EMDR, DBT, CBT or something else entirely - this site is here to help you deal with Borderline Personality Disorder issues. As a peer-support group, we offer support, discussion, tips, advice and encouragement.

BPDR is very focused on a Cognitive Based Therapy (CBT) approach and we believe, very fundamentally, in the Existential Paradox from Dr. Joseph Santoro:
We are not responsible for how we came to be who we are as adults
but as adults we are responsible for whom we have become and for everything we say and do.

In order for BPDR - its tools and peer support group, with a recovery focus - to be effective and helpful for you, it's best that you're in a place within your personal journey of recovery where you are ready to confront your old ways of thinking, your old patterns of behaviour and make some very base-level changes. You are basically being asked to change all that you've known and done your whole life in order to secure healthy coping mechanisms for daily living to lead you to a place of happy living.

Change can be scary and many people aren't quite ready for such immense undertakings. This is perfectly understandable. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you're not quite ready to be at BPDR just yet. We'll still be here for you if or when you are ready to be here and tackle the awesome responsibilities of who we've each become and all the things we say and do.

The Tools promoted at BPDR are CBT-based but they are not exclusionary. You may find one is more effective for you than another. You may find that a slightly different version of a BPDR tool (maybe with a DBT name) works better for you. As long as you are focused on recovery (aka healthy happy living), are willing to work within the premise of the Existential Paradox and can accept BPDR for what it is and offers, you are welcome here no matter what modality of therapy you may embrace offline.

There is more to BPDR than just the discussion forums. You are encouraged to take a look at the full website's offerings, including the FAQs.

As mentioned, there are very few rigid rules and very minimal structure around time-outs. This means that BPDR operates in the grey, without black-and-white "if you do this, then that will happen" on a systemic level. Boundaries and consequences will still be communicated and enforced but there is no Rule Book to point to and/or hide behind or skate around. BPDR relies more heavily on common sense, judgment calls and wisdom of past experiences to guide each other in our peer support, recovery focused journeys.

Please feel free to ask questions as the need arises but remember that you begin here as a welcome individual. The basic internet guidelines still apply: show respect, be courteous, disagree without flaming/attacking, etc. First and foremost, know that you will always receive feedback at BPDR in one form or another!

All visitors are welcome to submit questions via email to ash @ bpdrecovery.com. Please limit your email to 250 words or less; anything longer will not be read due to time contstraints. Due to the volume of inquiries received, we regretfully cannot guarantee a personal, private response but if your query is of a topic which would be beneficial to the masses, it will be published anonymously - along with the response - on the website.

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