BPDRecovery.com: Forums

i have recently been diagnosed with bpd. although im not sure that thats what i have i do have some of the symptoms. this is the situation. i was in a relationship with the greatest woman in the world and the best person i ever met. in a few situations i lied 2 her because i didnt want her to think less off me or dump me or anything like that. these things stem back 2 an abusive childhood and what i consider a built in defensive system that i created 2 keep from being beat yelled at fear of being unloved or thought less of ect. although i know in my heart it is wrong it seems that this whole crazy well detailed lying thing just automatically takes over for fear of rejection ect. i love this woman more than anything in the world and everything else is great except 4 the lies which pretty much destroyed everything between us. i just want 2 b honest all the time and try 2 work this out 4 me foremost and 4 us 2. this is the 1 i want to spend the rest of my life with and i was wondering if anyone had any input on how i can start 2 recover and not have that happen anymore. im new to this and not sure if this is the right place to b but im trying to do everything i possibly can.

Welcome. You have come to the right place, but I will warn you. We try to focus on getting ourselves better first, then deal with how our illness has affected our relationships with others. Check out the tools on the left of this page, the five steps have really helped me.