BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi

I have just read 'get me out of here' - Rachel Reiland. I lost everything - home family etc 7 years ago - became diagnosed BPD - had some treatment. Currently my daily emotions - tremendous fear of homelessness, devastating loss - guilt - self hate. I do not want to live - cannot see a way clear to survival anyway. The possiblity of empathy on this site gives me some small hope. Does anyone know of free help available in the uk to combat this self destructive disorder?
Many thanks - El

Hi Eleanor, and WELCOME to BPDR!

I live in the US, so I don't know of any free programs in the UK. I do know that some of our member live there though, so I hope they have more advice for you in that area.

I do know that this site is free, and the tools and people here have helped me find my way towards happy, healthy living. I was at a similar place as you are now-- not wanting to live and not seeing the way out-- when I came here. I've learned that I am the only one who can really get me out of my own situation, and I've learned how to do it. The tools in the box on your left are really instrumental for me! I really hope that you can find your way too.

Well, I just wanted to welcome you to the site. I look forward to getting to know one another!

Hi Eleanor,

my partner's had a diagnosis and there are plenty of resources out there to help. This site is a bloody good start though - you'll find plenty of people on here ready to share.

It sounds like you've got a bit to do - if as you say, you've lost everything (and by what you describe I assume you mean everything that was meaningful to you), there's the simple act of adjusting o your situation. My partner was totally unable to start using the tools that people mention here, and to benefit from therapeutic interventions until she had been to the GP who helped, with appropriate drug interventions, to enable her to start to break out of the cycles of learned thinking / feeling states.

So clearly medication over here on the NHS should not be a problem. There are plenty of on-line resources and we bought a couple of books to learn all there was about the issue. It sounds like there might have been some trauma associated with your BPD and that can be the key to some free support. For example, my partner has real problems with intimate relationships as a result of the crap that she's been through and RELATE can help there. Additionally there are agencies for the specific traumas that she has been through. There may be the same for you, or for finding help for the specific issues that the BPD is throwing up for you.

A good start is coming on here - it is possible to retrain yourself and deal with those things causing problems - therapy is useful but self help is also possible.

Good luck and welcome,

Paul.

Hi, Im new here and from America. Ive lost every good thing in my life too. I cant help you much other than to let you know youre not alone. Im like you! But we are only "Beyond Hope" when we cease breathing. So yes, there is hope! Dont let anyone tell you other -or dont you tell yourself other, k?

Sounds as though you've had a really rough ride over the past 7 years. I'd just like to say that yes, there is hope, and there is help out there in the UK (though it can be challenging to find!)

You didn't mention what kind of help you had before or where you are now in terms of getting treatment so forgive me if I'm telling you stuff you already know. Lots of links and suggestions to follow!

The NHS is your best bet for free treatment in the UK, although you can also get free counselling and other support from charities; they tend not to cover the meds side of things.

For the NHS, you first need to be registered with a GP, who may be able to prescribe meds, and can refer you to specialist services e.g. psychiatrists and therapy.

Exactly what's available depends on your area. Some parts of the UK have specialist programmes for those with BPD; you can find a good listing here:
http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/

If there's no specialist programme, how good your treatment is tends to depend on the individual professionals you see and how experienced they are in treating BPD. It's really worth speaking up about any problems, as you may be able to change who treats you, or even be referred to services in a neighbouring area. This page offers some suggestions on what to do:
http://siriusproject.org/nhs.html#problems

If your BPD is severe, there are also several specialist inpatient programmes that accept patients from around the country. These are also listed on the personality disorder website above, and to those listed I'd add the Crisis Recovery Unit in London if you self-harm - a close friend of mine was very successfully treated there.

For charities and support groups, these sites may be helpful:
Charities and counselling - a general listing, on a self-harm website, but includes a lot of general mental health charities
Support groups - ditto
Borderline UK - I think this is mainly a support/campaigning organisation
BPD World - from what I recall they offer counselling, a helpline and phone/email support workers
DBT Class - this is a free, online DBT class for people with BPD, it teaches you all the skills you'd learn in DBT therapy - I found it very helpful

Helplines e.g. the Samaritans, Saneline are also worth using when you're in crisis.

I hope this post isn't too overwhelming - if it is, it's OK to take things in baby steps. And I hope I'm not repeating what you already know. But my experience has been it's very possible to get good help in the UK, but it can take a lot of persistence to find it.

Let us know how you get on, and good luck.

Lirael

Hi,

Just to say, thank you so much for taking the time to write to me and give me some points of contact. I have actually followed them all up, but am drawing a bit of a blank. I have already tried CBT therapy through the NHS, but somehow they do not seem to have a grasp of BPD and I have been told that there is nothing else that they can do. Also there is an added frustration in that its closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, in that had this been diagnosed when I was in a secure family unit with the support of my husband, I could have got through this. My hsuband must have been baffled for many years - he is now with a new partner, I have lost my children and all funds - have been rescued literally from being homeless and am just about treading water - working part time and living in a friends' cottage. Certainly a local support group - communicating with others who feel the same as I do could make and enormous difference. Any ideas would be very gratefully received!

Many thanks - El