BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hello everyone,
My name is Chris and I was diagnosed with BPD a week ago. I have been dealing with issues with my wife for 2 years now. I committed adultry with 2 women both of whom I worked with. 2 years ago I told her about it and it has been a slippery slope since then. We had met with our Pastor many many times for help with our marriage. About 2 mths ago he (our Pastor) told me that he didnt know how else to help and sent me to a Christian Psyhcologist. Before my 2nd appt with the Psych. I found the book I hate you/dont leave me. And I knew that was how I felt. Bernie (my Psych) confirmed that I was BPD with depression PTSD, OCD, Social anxiety and the list goes on. So now my wife and I have some basis for what has driven me for all these years. My wife has changed so much and the dynamic of our relationship has changed so much that I am up against a wall to change which is good for me. Just a little background we have 4 children 7,5,2 1/2,9 mths and have been married for 7 years. I am 30 and my wife is 27. I will be posting more just wanted to introduce myself.

Hi brokenside,

Just wanted to give you a quick welcome

Hope to hear more from you soon.

Hi Chris -- glad you found us.

Check out our tools (in the box on the left) for some strategies you can use outside of therapy.

My only personal experience with a Christian therapist was not a happy one -- I don't think he liked women very much for some reason, but I always felt he was sort of laughing at me. Many years later (and a few counselors) later, I now have a wonderful therapist who is Jewish, but we don't often talk about deeply spiritual issues. I might bring up certain situations I have encountered at church, but any truly spiritual stuff I would talk to my clergy about, not her. I'm not saying that a faith-based psychologist can't be effective -- if he has good training and experience then it could be OK. But be sure you can trust him and be totally honest with him, and not find yourself hiding stuff because you're afraid that he's in some way judging you because of what you might have thought or done, or that he's going to tattle on you to your pastor, or whatever. In my experience, we can't pray our way out of this disorder. It takes intense and difficult self-examination and a lot of hard work and discipline to overcome our dysfunction.

It's can be very hard to repair a marriage that has been damaged by BPD, but good for both you and your wife for trying. Your kids need and deserve a dad who's a positive part of their lives.

hi chris Welcome!