BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I'm new to this site and it seems really awesome. I found it after researching recovery for BPs. I just turned 40 though I look very young, and emotionally I'm about 10 years or more behind. I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years now and have never been given an official diagnosis for anything; only a possible diagnosis of anxiety and mood disorders, the reason being that they wanted to avoid stigmatizing me. Whatever the case may be, I fit the BPD profile pretty well as much as I haven't wanted to admit it. I am finally willing to face it though and want to continue improving my quality of life.

I've made a lot of progress: I don't cut, drink or do drugs anymore. Slowly but surely I am trying to incorporate regular exercise and healthy eating habits into the picture but that's harder than it seems. I spend too much time watching movies and thinking about "woe is me" thoughts and obsessing over crushes I have... fantasy world stuff. It's still really hard for me to deal with my emotions (even the good ones!) but through therapy I've been learning about the difference between them and the "reality" of the outside world, i.e. I don't have to act on my feelings, just know they are there.

I'm so sick of feeling trapped! I really want to move forward. I've never finished college - went to three and quit all of them. I really want to become a person I'm proud of. I want to be a good example to others, help others and know what it's like to really love someone.

Hi Trillium, and WELCOME to BPDR!!

I'm glad you have found us. It doesn't matter if you are diagnosed or not, the important thing is to focus on recovery. I think you will find many on here who can relate to what you are going through and some ways to get through it. There is a tool section on your upper left that can really help.

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you and say hello. If you have any questions just ask.