BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hey Everyone

I found this website tonight as I was searching online for videos about BPD. I was diagnosed with the disorder in November of 2010 after I was admitted to a mental health hospital for being suicidal. I also have Anorexia Nervosa, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Major Depression and sever anxiety. My childhood was filled with more abuse, trauma and pain than it was with innocence, love and whatever else a healthy childhood entails. Needless to say, at the age of 25, my life is anything but boring or 'average'.

Where I live there is truly only a mockery of treatment available. I have a doctor who doesn't appreciate the severity of my health and lack of quality of life, which makes maintaining motivation and being connected to supports impossible. I have no other professional help. Which means I also have no therapist.

My whole life has been a painful experience, one that I would wish on nobody. I have reached a point where I feel so lost, and so exhausted from the emotional pain that I am ready to leave this world. However, that is not what my boyfriend wants. We will be celebrating our one year together next month. He has never had a serious relationship, or anything that has surpassed a month or two. So for him to stay by side through all this, scares me. Though I am ready to toss in the towel, he is not.

Which brings me to this site. If he isn't giving me a choice to not get better, then I might as well figure out a way to want it for myself. Part of me does. After being in IP treatment for my ED, iI was able to experience true happiness, healthy control, etc. This only lasted a few shorts weeks, but it's enough to know that it is possible.

Now I need to learn how to get there. I'm hoping this site will help educate me, and maybe my bf on how to move forward from here. It is a sad day when i have to turn to the internet to help with my health, but if that's what it will take, then so be it.

If you took the time to read all this...then I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for listening to me. I feel like screaming on the tallest building through a megaphone to get someone's attention to help me. Hopefully I can find it here.

Until then, I remain Borderline hopeful.
Namaste

hey flowerchild,
I hear ya screaming scream your lungs out, you'll feel better

I think this site is a good site for those who want to recover from bpd. Hang around, read the threads and glean some insights for your own recovery. Go to the tools part, pick up one tool at a time, put it into practice.

I'm still in the midst of my recovery. I so understand, sometimes the pain is so much that you just want to leave this world for good! Yet we must persevere, if we die we won't get to taste the sweet fruit of recovery, a good life out there for us.

I'd say you have a good boyfriend, who sticks by you.

welcome onboard, gal!

Hi. I'm new and a non BPD, and I was curious if you could explain how it scares you that your boyfriend stays by your side? Do you know why that is scary to you?

I'm glad you are here getting support. Very sorry that you are in so much pain!