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Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes! I never thought my T would come to my house unless someone died. But it just happens that she knows my daughter's fiance and his family quite well. So, she was invited by them (also by me) to the party we had. They don't know that I know her. She will be invited to the wedding also.

When I once asked her if she would come to my d's wedding she said she doesn't attend clients' weddings because it would be awkward when people ask how she knows the bride or groom. But, in our case, it's obvious that the other side knows her and no questions will be asked.

So, she asked if it would be okay with my d. and me if she came to the party, and I said it was. It seemed natural for her to be in my house. There were a lot of people, but it was an open house so they came and went. I did notice when she hugged the boy's mother and my d. I asked for a hug when she left, and it just felt very normal and natural. Like she's just someone I know.

So, I have been thinking. What about my fantasies? What about my poem? What about all of my feelings about her? Where did they go? It's a little disappointing to not have all of those feelings any more.

I don't want the fantasies back completely, but I don't want them to disappear either. I want some of both. I don't want my T to be a regular person to me all of the time, but it is okay for her to be when I see her in RL. Because of my d, I will be seeing her in the future more than I ever imagined. I think that will be nice also! But I still think I would go back to being different with her if I see her for a session.

I'm happy that it is turning out this way. Many people dream of seeing their Ts when therapy is ended, and I will be able to. It's like a "dream come true" but it's not a dream. I see her as a human being, and not anyone to obsess about. My dreams really have been shattered, but it's okay because I can have the normal relationship that I would have had, if my T hadn't been my T. What a strange turn of events.

I think my problem is that everything is working out too well. You know, waiting for the ball to drop. I'm scared! But Ash said if it drops, trust that it will bounce. I'm scared of all this good stuff happening in my life! It's wonderful and scary at the same time. But that's another topic. My T in my house, and it being good, is almost unreal to me. My not obsessing about it (honestly, this is contemplation, not obsession) is unreal too. It's too perfect an ending to my therapy. It's too nice. I will just enjoy it--the mindfulness of it all. Any comments, please?

I laughed when I read that. Because I get it. I can relate.

Boy, you really did get that happy ending! And you know what - you deserve it!

I told you I used to see my first T in RL - she came to parties I went to and to celebrations at the JCC. Now, 27 years later, I see her as a "regular person". I'd like to visit her again. I may go to Florida this summer and will try to visit her. But I don't mourn after her like I used to.

See how the fantasy was replaced by Real Life? Isn't it so much better? You can relate to her as an equal and she respects you. And even if she hadn't been your T, she would have still been coming into your home, to share your joyous occasion. And you would have maybe gotten to know her - again, as equals.

I'm so proud of you! You really worked this out! Fantastic!!!!

Ellen: I like that you said you can relate. It's nice to be understood. I know that you "get it"!

BG: Yeah, I can't believe she was in my house and I didn't panic or obsess! I have so much to be grateful for lately.

I'm so glad things are going well. You deserve it!!!!