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Quite different to my last one but I wanted to share again. PLEASE overlook the clumsy writing, I have no aspirations to literary brilliance, only to capture some geist of my inner workings. These poems just blurt out and are written in less than 10 minutes.

Through a pre-programmed lens of loss
Fight or flight kicks in
The violence I perform upon those I love
Only reflects the violence within

I beat them to the ground
Pummel them with my fury
The reasons don't cancel out my guilt
and I'm hanged by every jury

I cannot scream the victim
Can't claim it was self-defense
As my attacker is an invisible ghost
Dressed as those who are my friends

My reactions are displaced
As each mask such a cunning disguise
Ghosts of my past and my own self-loathe
Collude in my ultimate demise

This house must be cleansed
The poltergeists exorcised
It is they who lie behind the crimes
For which I am demonised

I beg you to leave this home
The only sanctuary I can ever possess
The original assaults upon me
Have sated your appetite for distress

Each of us is given a shelter
A place where we belong
You haunt my space as your own abode
Is riddled with hauntings of your own

If Heaven really is a place
Where all spirits meld as one
Then my one chance of solitude is now
I must empower myself to be alone

So leave me you terrified lonelings
And do your own housekeeping
I will not give up my one chance
In lieu of the havoc you're wreaking

My life is MY possession
All else it must rise above
I claim my God given right
To love and to be loved.

Sarah, I think you are quite good at writing poetry. I really identified with this one, maybe even more than your last posted verse-- I didn't think it was clumsily written at all!

Thanks for sharing.

WOW! Very powerful, ((Sarah))!

XO, Jilly

Thank you guys!

Harmonium my poetry is not designed to be up for critique, mainly bc it's one medium I don't feel I have any expectations of myself in. I sometimes rattle off poems after I've sorted through feelings and situations in my journal, and I find it extremely satisfying. It's like once I have a crystalline concept of whatever it is I've been working through a little ditty just spews forth which somehow captures my feelings quite succinctly. Perhaps this is what you define as "quite good".

The only thing I don't like about my poem here is that it overlooks my responsibility not to react, which is where I have abused or pushed loved ones away. Those ghosts lie behind my reactions, they are the trigger, the impetus, sure. But I do need to work on recognising reactive feelings bc it rarely seems reactive at the time. I have managed to resist a few times recently, but sadly, it's too late to begin not reacting for that situation to benefit much from my healthy choice.

Candle! It's been soo long! This is a real piece of synchronicity bc last week i found a card from you and last night I was really thinking of you and how long it's been since I heard anything from you here. Really put a (well needed I admit) smile on my face to see your post!

Sarah, I particularly like the last stanza.