BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi
I've read heaps about people with BPD clinging to others desperately. What about those of us who habitually distance ourselves from relationships with others, in an attempt to deny needing anyone?

Would this be avoidant-borderline PD, C-PTSD or perhaps something else?

I reckon my shrink could be at a loss to deal with my constant distancing behaviours, as borderlines typically present differently.

what do you think?

That's definitely a defense mechanism. Lots of people do this, but it would depend on to what extent you do this to determine whether or not you have a disorder. It's perfectly natural for someone who got burnt not to stick their finger in the fire next time, so if you've been burnt in the past this is not unusual. But I think that without knowing more it's impossible to say what specifically you're suffering from. I would bring it to the attention of a counselor who would be better able to diagnose you. Good luck!

Oh additionally, BPD has a lot to do with push and pull..distancing and clinging..

IMHO, both clinging and distancing have the same root - fear of abandonment. And BENEATH the fear of abandonment is probably hurt (for me, I find that's the case, not sure if it applies for everyone).

So the fear drives SOME ppl to cling and be needy, in order that they will not be abandoned.

And the same fear drives OTHER ppl to distance themselves, as they fear that they will be abandoned in the relationship.

Not sure if you get my drift.