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Basically, I have some questions about BPD treatment and BPD, in general.
But before I get to those, I kind of have some explaining to do.

I am not diagnosed with BPD. However, I have journals and journals full of the same story, from high school to now(college-age): purposelessness, confusion about who I am, feelings of social ineptitude, problems with binging/fasting, and general angst. I had always thought that this was the normal, unfortunate fate of all teens. I excused it, and dismissed it as a phase. That didn't lessen the pain or discount the seriousness of my troubles; I felt - and still feel - like every problem I encounter is of serious urgency... But I figured that there would be some light at the end of the tunnel, and that no matter how excruciatingly slowly my moments of anxiety passed, they would lead to a stable, secure future, where I would have concrete goals, reliable relationships, and a confident sense of self.

It was my birthday on Monday. On Tuesday, I faced the fact that my problems have not changed with time... and that I have not changed with age. My instabilities and insecurities are just as pronounced as they were in freshman geography with Mrs. Whatever... and my coping strategies never pan out. I always feign optimism and sometimes believe it, but... it falls to anxiety and hopelessness.

So I'm seeing a dr. or something (provided by the University - they have a great, FREE mental health service program) on Tuesday.

But with that said, here are some questions:
-Do I bring up this possibility to the Dr? Or do I let the Dr put things together (or not, in the case that I really do not have BPD)?
-and What does a diagnosis really accomplish? When it comes down to it - whether your problems stem from BPD or just life's ups and downs, isn't solving your problems simply a matter of analyzing a situation objectively and acting accordingly?
-and as a sidenote, I feel kind of dumb even thinking that I might have BPD... I've never exhibited the symptoms dealing with anger, or the really suicidal/promiscuous/cutting type things. Should I just stop talking and thinking about this and deal?

Thanks so much for reading this far... I'm sorry for making this so long when I have such simple questions!

I can see myself in your story, but still just take this as what it is. Advice from a non-medical lay person with BPD.

Having a diagnosis gave me a place to start looking for the skills I needed to get healthy. I don't hide behind a label, I also don't let myself be labeled by anyone else. (example, I don't excuse myself if I act badly by saying"that's just my BPD", and I don't let anyone dismiss me "Don't take her reactions into account she has BPD.)

I didn't know anything about Borderline until after I was diagnosed, so whether or not to tell your suspisions to your doctor is a gray area for me. I will say that the University mental health department where I went to school as wonderful, probably saved my life.

BPD or not, there IS light at the end of your tunnel. If it's a chemical problem, drugs can help. (Depression is often co-morbid with BPD, I needed anti-depressants to get well enough to use the skills I learned on this sight) If the problem is just learning skills to get around intrusive thoughts or deal with what feels like overwhelming feelings, those skills exist and can be learned.

PS, There are 264 different ways BPD can manifest itself, I never acted outward, only at myself. Cutting isn't the only form of self harm, your eating problems could be a one of them. Just go in and be as completely honest wth the doctors as possible.

I agree with Kari.

I had never heard of BDP until I was diagnosed, and that didn't happen until I was 50 (!!), and I had been dealing with many of the same feelings you have since I was about 12. So growing out of a lot of this stuff just didn't happen for me. Apparently for a lot of people with BPD, the disorder does get less severe as you get older, but so far (now 57) I haven't noticed that. Not that I'm not better now, because I am, but that's because I've been working on it and have developed better coping mechanisms and have a wonderful therapist who helps me work through the rough spots.

So it's good that you're going to go get all this checked out. There is no need for you to suffer for years.

Like Kari said, getting the diagnosis gave me a framework for the work that I needed to do to get better. Once I had a name for it, I could learn about it and start to try to conquer it. That said, I don't think a diagnosis is absolutely necessary. I think it's possible to work on identifying the specific problems that you're having (the social issues, the eating disorder, the self-identity problems, etc.) and work on them without getting too hung up on whether they're a part of a larger disorder like BPD. The key is finding a good therapist who you can trust and work with, and also, as Kari said, getting yourself on medication if you need it for depression or anxiety or whatever biochemical issues you might have. So people don't need that, many do.

So go forward, take it day by day, but be persistent in advocating for yourself. If your first therapist/psychiatrist doesn't mesh for you, try another. (I know it's hard when you're a student, and probably not a lot of money, but hopefully your university has some decent caregivers available to you.) It can take a while to work all this out, but you're young, nowhere near as entrenched in years of dysfunctional thinking patters as I was by the time I was diagnosed, and hopefully you'll be feeling a little better about yourself before long. In the meantime, check out our "Tools" (in the box on the left) for some techniques a lot of us have found really helpful.

Good luck! If you have more questions, ask away!