BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I never thought I would say this, but I am so glad to have a diagnosis of BPD. I have been floundering around for over 20 years (various forms of therapy, inpatient treatments, medications) ...not getting better. NOW, everything makes sense. I have something to put my finger on. I have a jumping-off point to health! Having started proper therapy (DBT/CBT) and having a proper plan, I am better already....in just over a month.

I just want to stand of my roof and shout it to the world..... (okay, so I won't do that....lol)

I couldn't believe my eyes when I found this website, too.

welcome. i'm glad you've found us too.

i agree! it is so much easier when you know what the problem is and you find a tool to help you deal with it. i look forward to getting to "know" you better.

My experience was just like yours I'm so glad that you have found this place too!!

The same thing happened to me, though I was 50 when I was diagnosed, so I'd been struggling with BPD for something like 35 years before I really figured out what was going on with me. Still, it was a huge relief to be able to name the problem and have a framework for recovery.

I know you may feel like you want to shout from the rooftops, and there is somewhat less stigma about most mental illnesses than there used to be, but be aware that there are still MANY people who regard those of us with BPD as totally evil and beyond redemption. That is not the truth, obviously, but those who believe it can be very vocal and persuasive. There was recently some coverage of BPD in the New York Times, and the comments in the Well blog were vicious. I and a few others tried to say that we are not all alike, that many of us who have been willing to work on our issues have made great progress toward recovery and are not stereotypically difficult, but it was pretty much like whispering in the wind and we were completely out-shouted. So be careful who you tell about BPD, because it is a diagnosis that can be very much held against you. It's best to quietly work on your therapy, and just show people with your actions that you are making progress toward recovery.

I don't mean to scare you or make you feel worse about yourself. It IS a good thing that you've been diagnosed and directed toward effective therapy, and we CAN get better. I'm glad you found us, and I hope you can get some good support here. Check out our "Tools" in the box on the left for some techniques that many of us use to supplement our therapy.

Welcome!

Thanks for the warm welcome. I really don't need to tell anybody what the actual diagnosis is (it is pretty much just for me), but can say that I have a paradigm for getting better. Me getting better is what people will see.

mlf

Hi mlf,

I'm glad that it helps you to put a name to the problem, I can definitely understand how it puts things in perspective for you. I think what's really helped me is trying to keep in mind that we don't have to adhere to labels.

What Sari is saying is unfortunately true. All I can say to that is this: I've been working hard on myself for 5 years. No one's going to insist that I can't or won't change, because I've seen the change in front of my eyes, and I see more take place everyday, no matter how small they seem. I am not hopeless, and I put forth a lot of dedication to get where I'm at. Those sorts of things used to get me down, but then I sort of looked at it like this - Everyone's entitled to an opinion. I needn't defend myself to those who won't regard me and a disorder I have with an open mind. At the end of the day, they're still going to be strong in their convictions - whether I agree or disagree matters not. And to be ironic, I think it's touching a tad on black and white thinking to believe that those with BPD are all evil and incapable of change But hey, to each their own.

Glad to see you here.

I'm new on this--first time. For years I suspected my mother of being insane, then I described her to a psychiatrist who suggested that she had BDP. Since I've learned more about it, I see myself in the symptoms, too. Scary, but at least I know there is help. I'm glad of that. I've made a mess of many things over the years.

Hey Rex, glad you joined us. My mom probably had a personality disorder too, and she would never seriously pursue any treatment. It took me a long time, but once I started getting adequate therapy for the appropriate problems, I've seen progress. So now that you're seeing that you might have BPD (or something similar -- a number of disorders overlap), I hope you will pursue a formal diagnosis and get yourself into some therapy, and hopefully you won't be making a mess of things any longer.

mlf -- yep, that's exactly what it is: a paradigm for getting better. I hope I didn't put you off by talking about the negative stigma about BPD, but it's an unfortunate reality. I think, now that there are better treatment modalities, like DBT/CBT, and people start seeing that those with BPD can improve, the reputation of us being "hopeless" will fall by the wayside.

Sari, thanks. How does one find a therapist who deals with BPD? Cold call? Is there a list based on geographical area?