BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi All,

I'm Merry, I'm 19 and from SC. I was just diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago, and while it's a little strange to be told I have an Axis II disorder in addition to major depression and social anxiety disorder, it's a relief to put a label on what is otherwise called "hell".

I was kicked out of college in January after trying to kill myself (for the 3rd time), and for being caught engaging in self-harm (without the intent of dying). I was hospitalized for 3 weeks and improved a little bit. My meds haven't yet been straightened out, and I've only just started DBT to improve my symptoms, so I'm really scared about returning to school at the end of August. I'm currently working on the DBT skills and am trying so, so, so hard to stop SI behaviors and to curb the suicidal thinking a little bit. I've been SI-clean for two days......trying to stay that way....

Very happy to be here and to have found a support forum!

Merry

Hi Merry, I'm Harmonium. Nice to meet you and WELCOME to BPDR!!

I'm glad to hear you have not self-harmed in two days. That's an achievement that can be recognized. Good work!!

It is difficult to hear the diagnosis......but good in a way too. I found that by knowing what I had--giving a name to that hell-- well, then I could fight it and figure out who the 'real' me is.

I think you will find much support and some fantastic tools here. Check out the tool box on your left upper-hand screen-- they have been and still are unbelievably helpful to me. I hope you find them to be the same.

There is a site out there that I believe a member here began called Sirius Project. Not to lead you away from BPDR or anything, but they have many good tips for self-harm and suicidal behaviours. We can help with that too; maybe using both sites would be helpful to you.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and welcome. I'm glad you are here and look forward to getting to know each other better!

Welcome!

Welcome mbowden,

I'm glad you've found this site. We care and want to help you reach your goal of happy, healthy living without self harm or suicidal thoughts. It can be done. Work with a T is essential......but this site can support you outside of therapy.

Maybe when you have the urge to SI....you will choose to write...here or in a journal....about what you are thinking and feeling at the time. I believe it is important to understand that moment and your needs at that moment in order to begin to take control.

Good luck. Please keep up the good work.

skio

Good mornings,

I just started here myself. Welcome. I hope you'll find the companionship and outlet here that you need before the pain inside gets to be too much.

Life can be so hard. I hope that the people you find here can help you feel like it's more manageable. I know it helps me to talk - especially when I think they REALLY understand.

thank you guys

Hi Merry

Well I think it's good that they diagnosed it so early, and it's also great that they are helping you with the DBT therapy. It's one of those things I would want to try but there are no doctors around here who know DBT, or doctors familiar with BPD for that matter. It might be scary going back to school I would imagine, but they are letting you come back so that's good.

I used to SI in high school and it carried on through college. I quit when I started smoking, but since quit smoking, and haven't done it yet. Not saying you should start smoking though. But I think perhaps just talking about what bothers you will help from the SI. I had no outlets in high school, and even today I still don't really have friends or people that I can open up to for fear of judgement. I figure here would be a safe place to open up or vent which will help I think. I'm also new to these forums as well. But I used to post another BPD forums until a member made me feel terrible. I think it's a matter of being open , and not judging.

aww Im sorry to hear all that.. but Im glad things are going okay for right now! Just hang in there, try to stay positive and surround yourself with friends and people that love you, and do things to busy yourself. Going to back to school is definitely the right track to be on! Message me if you would like to talk more.