BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I cannot express how thankful I am to have found this site.

My whole life, I've felt that there's something off about me. I have a very hard time making friends, trusting people, taking citicism, and I get angry very easily. I am very sensitive to rejection, and when I am outright rejected (for example, in breakups, even when I don't like the guy that much!), I become emotionally crippled. I think in all ten of the twisted ways. Reading about BPD was like reading a description of myself. I am not diagnosed, but I am sure that this it, and I am relieved that there is a reason for my behavior and a community that can help!

I don't know how I came to have this disorder. I was not abused, raped, or neglected in my childhood. I have a very close and loving family, but my relationship with my mother is stormy right now. All the sites say it is caused by environmental factors, but I've had this way of thinking for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I hated getting yelled at. It was humiliating and it made me feel like I was not considered a human being by whoever was yelling at me. I didn't forgive myself for days for whatever I had done.

My boyfriend has helped me understand my relationship with my mother and many other things. He is an incredible man, but he has been subjected to emotional abuse from me for over a year. I want our relationship to be healthy. He is the only person I have ever felt comfortable with and I love him.

I have already used the 5 steps tool and I got some great results! Clear communication!

Hi Rachel, and welcome to BPDR! We're glad you found us and it's great that you're already benefitting from some of the Tools offered here.

Hi Rachael

Hi Rachael,
I am relatively new on this site as well & have found the tools as well as feedback from other members to be very supportive & helpful.
Welcome!

Hi! Welcome!