Hey there... I am new to this site and have always been slightly BPD with more of an anxiety problem however with my grandpa passing away recently I am more BPD due to the post traumatic stress aspect of it all. I am trying to get out of a relationship with my boyfriend who has become emotionally and nearly physically abusive due to my fear of abandonment and people dying because of the recent events in my life. He stood over my grandpas dead body with me and told me he will never leave my side and he has left... I am attractive, smart, witty, young.... however this has become extremely devastating and I am showing far more signs of BPD than I ever have before. My doctors are telling me that this guy has me convinced that there is more wrong with me than there really is, because I am going through the grieving process and he is trying to act like my grievances are not normal... but I have no where to turn to now. All of my friends and family cannot believe the power this has over me, since I have always been driven and extremely self sufficient... They don't realize how debilitating this has become, and nearly don't believe that it is as bad as I believe it is. I hope that through reading other people's woes and how they've helped themselves I can come to terms with everything and recover because as of right now I can't bring myself to get up and go to work or do much of anything...
