BPDRecovery.com: Forums

My moocher friend is gone, I've now taught two classes, and had grad classes.

For the most part, I just feel like it is stimuli overload. There's not time to process before the next item to be dealt with presents itself. It is interesting trying to find a balance in my new life. Because, this is my new life. This is my opportunity to create a life actually worth living. It is my joy, and in a way, my heartache. Adapting to new routines, while balancing life and all that entails is pretty stressful.

I feel guilty that I haven't been back to this board in a few weeks. I feel guilty because I know that I need this board. I need the clarity and the time to process, and the medium to practice therapy skills. It is always too easy to forget sometimes.

So, just processing for a moment -
The teaching thing is incredibly scary and terribly exhilarating at the same time. It's like, once I forget about my nerves, I really get into it and am passionate about talking about writing, and about relating to these 18 year olds. My first day I taught - I made the classroom laugh. And, I had a student tell me that she really liked me as an instructor and she was wondering if I taught another section because this one conflicted with her schedule. I can't even tell you how good that made me feel. (And, of course in my head, I'm thinking "Are you insane? This is the first class I've taught EVER!) lol.

I like my new life. As scary and nerve-racking as it feels, I truly think I made the right decision in moving here and going to graduate school. I feel like I truly have this opportunity to create the life I want to create and to evolve fully into my potential. And on the other hand, there is a part of me that is scared (as always) that I'm going to fuck it up. (Hello, bpd thought)

As usual, I"m just being impatient. I want to know the specific routines now. It just isn't comfortable yet and that is an issue for me right now. Everything still feels so alien and foreign. But, I do know that I am okay. I am adapting. I am probably doing better than I think I'm doing, just because I know I have a tendency to downplay my own strengths.

Anyways, that's it I guess. Thanks for letting me babble. It is helpful.

smles,

Good for you! And man, can I relate to the wanting to know the routines NOW. I'm going thru that myself at my new job.

And don't feel guilty about not coming here. Come when you need to.

Hey, pip, I'm glad to see you feeling a little more confident now. I'm sure it is still pretty overwhelming, but it will get more comfortable with time. I think you're doing great!

And good for you for getting rid of moocher-guy!

hey! very happy for you that you're enjoying the teaching