BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I'm thinking about my experience last night (early this morning) in light of some of the conversation here. Specifically, the idea of recovery, and expectations of those in recovery and ideas of what it means to be recovered.

Well, what recovery meant for me last night and this morning...

It didn't mean not being overwhelmed by feelings.
It didn't mean not crying.
It didn't mean not being frustrated.

It did mean these being short term states.
It did mean being able to quickly work through the issues.
And it meant waking up this morning calm and peaceful, the emotional stuff from the night before dealt with.

I still have strong emotions. I still have to work through emotional issues. But now I have more skills and knowledge for working those through, and so can do so better. And now I know it's okay to have those feelings.

Recovery didn't mean no longer loving and being attracted to a certain person.

It did mean not idealizing that person.
It did mean accepting his imperfections and limitations.

Yes, I cried. But it was brief. Far different from the days past when I'd cry myself to sleep everynight.

Yes, I still had feelings of wanting something I wasn't getting, and being frustrated with that. But I didn't stay there.

Recovery for me doesn't mean never feeling bad. But it means a lot less time feeling bad.

And it doesn't mean I'm done with the mental self-improvement journey. It does mean I can see I'm in a far better place than I used to be.

Really relating to your post EllenKMR. :thumbsup

Yea, me too. Very enjoyable to read, Ellen.

A poignantly illuminating post, Ellen.
thank you for that.

~ jr

In another thread Ibfuddled quoted (one of those anonymous sayings), "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".

That fits well here. It's not that I never feel pain in relationships. But I don't suffer like I used to.

And thanks for the replies.

LOL. That's a great quote.

Oh, Ellen, I like this thread. I love the quote as well about pain and suffering.