BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hey everyone

I haven't officially been diagnosed with BPD, but I am 99% sure that I have it. A week ago, my ex and I (we are still good friends) were talking and the discussion lead to personality disorders. We have taken the same Psychology class, and began discussing all of the different personality disorders. When it came to Borderline, we both kind of stopped and looked at each other. We were discussing the characteristics of what someone with BPD looks like, and it was crazy how many of them I had. I went on my laptop and googled BPD and out of 9 possible criteria (according to the DSM-IV-TR), I matched 8. Everything from frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, and an unstable self-image to impulsively, mood instability, and inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger. Those are just some of the lovely qualities I possess. It's no wonder I can't maintain a relationship, although my ex and I were together for almost 3 years.

As of right now, I am afraid to tell my family that I think I have this. I am fairly certain my mother also has BPD, but there is no way she would ever seek help. I would like to start therapy, or get some kind of professional help, but I don't know how.

If anyone can give me some advice or relate to what I am going through, please let me know

I was diagnosed with BPD by my psychologist about eight months ago. No one in my family believed me when I told them because I am extremely skilled at hiding my borderline behaviors. It was unbelievably difficult and stressful.

My advice to you would be to find a therapist that you trust and spend some time discussing why you think you have BPD. It's possible you are depressed or that you have another disorder since BPD tends to mimic other personality disorders. If you do have BPD or another disorder, then I would suggest talking with that therapist about how and when to broach this subject with your family. Unfortunately I did not talk to my therapist about how to talk to my family and it was a very invalidating experience for me.

Good luck!

Hi FuInle,
I can relate to this since I also came across the DSM criteria for BPD during my psychology classes and finally found an explanation for the weird way I was behaving and the problems I had since I can remember in different areas of my life. So I took my self dx to a psychiatrist for an assessment and he confirmed my suspicion. It is really important to get the right dx from a trained professional and even then it is difficult. I was treated for years and years for depression and every T I saw missed the BPD and also the extreme anxiety.

I hope you find the right help and support with this, realizing a problem is the first step to solving it.

Good luck to you!!

Birgit