BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hello all! I've just recently been given the diagnosis BPD after 8 years of being treated as bi-polar. Medication never worked, counselling didn't do much, and my life continued to fall apart. I sit here today with few friends (because I turn into a hurricane out of nowhere), living with my brother after being kicked out by my roommate and best friend of 11 years, and after losing my 6th job this year. I've just started a 12 week program with our local mental health service, and am terrified to become what I think I once was (can't really remember anymore). I so badly want a shred of my old normal life back, and am so relieved to see other people dealing with the same things. I'm usually so logical, grounded and sensible, always thinking and doing for others. Out of nowhere (has been getting more frequent) I flip into something I never wanted to be.... my mother. I was pregnant at a young age, and terminated the pregnancy. Shortly after my mom left (unmedicated bipolar) and never returned. I was badly abused in my first few serious relationships, and had a severe eating disorder that has permanently destroyed my digestive track. All of this I have overcame despite the horrible person I become on any given moment, which gives me hope I can overcome the bpd itself. Is it really possible to recover completely? The first week of my program and already I'm noticing some of the tools really do help, it's just hard to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ya know? I'm praying everyday for the best, say affirmations to lift my spirits, and will now be reading this site as it's another tool in the box to getting better. Can anyone offer any suggestions on where to start on this site? I've never really been involved with a forum, so it's all a little foreign to me.

Hi Keekster9560, and

I like your affirmation ideals--I use them all the time and they really do work wonders for me as well!

When I first came here, I was new to the forum-situation too. I would suggest taking a good reading of the home page, if you haven't already. There is a Tool Box on your left that has many valuable suggestions that have really, truly helped me greatly. On the forum homepage, a small description is written about what is what in each section--guidelines for use. You can link to it from the upper right-hand corner of your screen. There is also good info about the site in the FAQ section (with a link in the upper right).

Anyway, welcome. If you have any questions or anything, please feel free to ask anyone--we're here to help!

Thanks so much for the insight. I did read through all the tools links. Alot of it I'm currently learning to implement into my daily life via the program I'm enrolled in. I just feel so lost still, despite the fact that I'm working with other people in a daily group. The trouble I have been having is relating to other people. I am the only one in my program that suffers from bpd. Most of the people there are bipolar, depressive, or suffer extreme anxiety disorders, which all are valid, and have some relatabilities, but not in the same way. I've been avidly reading this site all morning and am finding some comfort in what I read. So many people suffering as me is saddening, but in a weird way releiving to know I"m not alone. The ones who are nearly recovered are giving me a hope I never really knew I had.